Idiots Happen - A Personal Road Rage Story

I had this experience a few weeks ago on my way to work. For the record, my 15-year-old son was in the car with me. Read all the way to the bottom for the defensive lessons in this situation.

I was driving down a 3-lane road which had been partially washed out in Hurricane Matthew. Construction had closed the west-bound side of this road (which I use in the morning), forcing traffic into the center turn lane to get around the work. I was approaching this construction when another driver in a large propane company work truck tried to cut me off from the rear, nearly forcing me into the cones marking the construction zone. I got in front of him, but not without a hard look as if to say, "Dude! What are you doing?!"

Just beyond the construction is a 4-way traffic light. I stopped to wait for the light to go green, and my 'friend' was sitting on my rear bumper the whole time. The light turned green and I proceeded through the intersection with Speedy Gonzalez on my tail. Two miles up the street from that light is the entrance to the campus of the college at which I teach. I turned on my turn signal, and looked into the mirror to see my companion waving violently for me to get out of his way. When I touched the brakes to slow for the turn, the guy nearly drove through me. I pulled into the turn lane as he swerved wildly around me.

Now, here's where it gets interesting. The guy got about 50 feet beyond me and STOPPED in the middle of traffic. For just a second I saw him sitting there before he drove slowly down the street. I expected him to just go on his way. I was wrong.

Instead of resuming his hasty trek to work, he proceeded to a service entrance at the rear of campus and entered the parking area. I watched him as he cruised across the lot toward me. "Here we go," I thought. I told my son to keep an eye on him as I drove through campus toward the Automotive Repair department, which is a gated space. I figured he would be reluctant to follow me into a gated area of campus. Again, I was wrong.

We lost sight of the guy behind a service building. I briefly parked, then turned my vehicle around to watch the gate. Sure enough, the tailgater followed me into a GATED AREA in order to confront me about his problem.

Seeing that this guy had something to share, I rolled down my window, and the conversation went thus:
Me, incredulous: "What are you doing!?"
Him, sternly: "Why did you hit you brakes and try to wreck me?"
Me: "I was pulling onto campus. You would have been fine if you hadn't been riding my tail the entire way here."
Him: "You didn't need to hit your brakes."
Me: " I WAS MAKING A LEGAL TURN! Here's the rub, man. You were in such a hurry that you tailgated me all the way here, and then, given the chance to just go on with your business, decided to follow me all the way here. I do have to thank you, though, for giving me the chance to get your business name and truck number. I'll be making a call to your manager in just a bit."
Him: "You do that. I'll tell them how you hit your brakes and tried to wreck me."
Me: "I'm sure they'll be sympathetic. Just don't leave out the part about riding my bumper for 3 miles."

With that, he threw his truck in reverse and pulled off with a few parting words.

As we were watching the guy leave, my son looked at me and said, "It's all right dad. I could have taken him." 😀

I did call his manager, who apologized for the incident. By the time we were finished with the conversation, he was asking me about self-defense classes.

Lessons from my point of view:
- Road rage is stupid. Don't get involved unless you have no choice. If you are the one initiating the conflict, you have a choice.
- Avoid the conflict. I sent as many signals as I could from the confines of my vehicle that I didn't want to have anything to do with this guy's issues. I drove away from him. I went to a gated area of campus (one that would naturally indicate 'off limits' to outsiders. Only when he was intent on addressing the issue did I engage him verbally (because I certainly didn't want this guy following me to the building where I work).
- Stay cool, even when faced with conflict. My adrenaline spiked, but I was still in control of myself. I didn't let my monkey brain take over entirely. The fact that I focused on letting the guy know that I would be reporting his behavior to his supervisor indicated that I wasn't going to get physically involved with him.

Lessons from his point of view:
- Road rage is stupid. Don't get involved unless you have no choice. This guy had a choice.
- Since he followed me all the way across campus, he had time to think about his choice. He still opted to engage me in open hostility.
- He is lucky that he targeted me to vent his ire. I live in the country. People here take their pride seriously. Had he targeted one of thousands of other inhabitants of this area, he would have been yanked out of his truck through the window and stomped into the pavement. I've read enough books and seen enough stupidity to recognize that this guy was on a rant. I let him vent his spleen and go on with a perceived victory.
- When driving a company vehicle, he is representing his company. The company's image becomes the image he conveys through his driving and any other actions. Suffice it to say that my image of his company is severely tarnished, as are those of the people he nearly wrecked on the road when he stopped traffic.

Road rage has the potential to go horribly, horribly wrong. Sometimes you will find yourself on the wrong side of someone behind the wheel. If that happens, remind yourself to think clearly, don't escalate the situation (shouting at or gesturing toward the other driver), and avoid the other driver - to your own inconvenience if necessary.

Drive alertly, and be safe.

Traffic Stops - An Anecdotal Lesson in Defense

Some years ago, a former middle-school classmate and I found each other on Facebook and discovered that despite being hundreds of miles from our old school, we lived just a few miles from one another in a totally different state. We connected as friends and have kept up with each other ever since.

Just a couple of weeks ago, this friend was traveling through a dark neighborhood miles from home when she was pulled over by what she believed was one of North Carolina's men in blue.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

Read the story for yourself:

DURHAM, N.C. (WNCN) — A man pretending to be a law enforcement officer pulled a woman over Tuesday and robbed her of her purse at gunpoint, Durham County sheriff’s deputies said.
Deputies are urging people to be on the lookout for the robber, who displayed a single blue light on the dark-colored SUV he was driving.
The man used the light to pull the woman over at about 10:30 p.m. on Big Horn Road near Guess Road, then approached the woman’s vehicle brandishing what looked like a rifle, according to deputies.
He took her purse and fled, leaving her unharmed, deputies said.
Deputies launched an “exhaustive” search, but were unable to find the man, who remains at large.
The sheriff’s office said drivers being pulled over by unmarked vehicles can call 911 to verify the vehicle behind them contains a legitimate law enforcement officer.
Durham police recently reported that someone had stolen a number of police uniforms. The robber in this case was described by the victim as wearing dark-colored clothing and a beanie hat, deputies said. He was also wearing a mask. (Source)

First of all, kudos to Kimberly for keeping it together enough to get a decent description of the suspect and not losing her life in the process of one of the worst experiences most of us can imagine. This could have been far FAR worse.

After hearing the story, I immediately reached out to Kimberly for clarification of the media narrative. After some back and forth, I have a pretty good understanding of what happened. I then reached out to two friends: one who is a chief of police in a nearby town (Chief Matthews) and another who is a defense attorney (Mr. Brantley). I wanted to get some perspective on the best way of managing a nighttime stop. What follows are the lessons I gathered from these two friends*.

Both Chief Matthews and Mr. Brantley agree on the following protocols for experiencing a nighttime stop in which the authenticity of the police officer is undetermined:
1 - Reduce speed. Few things in the process of following a suspect vehicle with flashing blues will make an officer twitch like failing to reduce speed. The prospect of a high-speed chase is not a seed you want to plant in the officer's mind.
2 - Turn on emergency flashers. Doing so will alert the officer that you know he is there.
3 - Call 911. The 911 operator should be able to query local police dispatchers to verify that the officer following you is indeed legitimate. If local police are not working the area, the operator should be able to connect you to (or communicate directly with) the state highway patrol for verification.
4 - Drive to the nearest well-lit and decently populated area. Putting yourself in clear visibility of numerous witnesses will be a deterrent to would-be thieves

Chief Matthews also adds that turning on the inside dome light is a good idea as it allows the officer to see that you are not prepping a weapon to be used against him/her once you are on the side of the road.

I further inquired of Chief Matthews about how best to identify a legitimate unmarked cruiser, particularly in the dark. His initial single-word answer speaks volumes:

"Lights."

Chief Matthews went on to say that lights are to a cop what crack is to an addict. There are never enough. A single blue dashboard light (as was used against Kimberly) is rarely if ever the only light in use. Real police cruisers should have, at a minimum, the dashboard light, wig-wag headlamps, and strobe-effect turn signals front and rear. Additional lights might include colored (red or blue) grill lights. Basically, the officer wants the area surrounding the stop to be well illuminated and the cruiser well identified for his safety and yours (to avoid roadside collisions by passing traffic).

As Kimberly was reflecting on the experience with me, she offered a very poignant observation: "I realized we become 'comfortable' in our live's routines. And blue light automatically meant police." She was compelled to stop because her experience with police had become a matter of blind obedience and compliance.

Now, that's not to say we should disobey the directives of sworn officers of the law. However, there's nothing wrong with ensuring that the individual about to confront you on the side of the road is indeed an officer.

To quote Ronald Reagan, "Trust, but verify."

-------------------------------------------------------

* Bear in mind that these rules/laws apply to drivers in North Carolina. Rules in other states may vary. Consult a legal professional in your state for appropriate steps to take under similar circumstances.